Funniest hijacked thread in board history

[Norm Peterson]

It's the off-season. I just read something that tripped a memory and reminded me of one of the all-time funniest threads in board history.

 

Must have been way back on the original, original board. I'm guessing 10-15 years ago. It started off innocuous enough. Something about basketball. But in the fine tradition of Husker Hoops Central, the thread got hijacked and it turned into people reciting the punchline of their favorite dirty joke.

 

Maybe we could resurrect that thread in honor of the off-season.  I'll start:

 

"Ten bucks, father. Just like downtown."

[49r]

"The Aristocrats!"

[Red Don]

What is:  "I'll never do That for a Buck again!"

[49r]

@Silverbacked1 since you seem to be confused:

 

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=the+aristocrats+joke

[Silverbacked1]

56 minutes ago, 49r said:

@Silverbacked1 since you seem to be confused:

 

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=the+aristocrats+joke

 

Sorry I ment that to be grossed out thingy.. The Aristocrate joke can get really bad.

[49r]

1 hour ago, Silverbacked1 said:

 

Sorry I ment that to be grossed out thingy.. The Aristocrate joke can get really bad.

 

It certainly can.  There was a documentary about it on Netflix a few years back that I watched.  Some of the nastiest versions are told by women.  

Edited July 9, 2019 by 49r

[Handy Johnson]

I thought you were asking what a hooker costs @ Casey’s on 13th & F...

[colhusker]

I'll keep an eye out for you.

 

[atskooc]

You f*#k her. 

[atskooc]

6 hours ago, 49r said:

 

It certainly can.  There was a documentary about it on Netflix a few years back that I watched.  Some of the nastiest versions are told by women.  

Penn and Teller did that doc. 

[AuroranHusker]

Normy must be real bored. That is all.

 

 

[colhusker]

A tearjerker.

[Silverbacked1]

Shhhhhhh...  They're getting closer.

[jayschool]

"I didn't ask the genie for a 10-inch pianist."

[atskooc]

31 minutes ago, jayschool said:

"I didn't ask the genie for a 10-inch pianist."

I almost went with that one.

 

Not a huge change, but I always heard/said it as, "You think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?"

 

[49r]

"He's fine now, just a little cock-eyed."

[Silverbacked1]

"How about a little head then?"

Edited July 11, 2019 by Silverbacked1

[jdw]

Does your dick touch your asshole?  Then go **** yourself.

[colhusker]

3 hours ago, jdw said:

Does your dick touch your asshole?  Then go **** yourself.

[REDitus]

"They like the tight fit."

 

 

[Norm Peterson]

"Now, if you can convince my wife I was just trying to milk that cow, I'll buy one of your tractors."

[Norm Peterson]

"Screw one sheep …"

[Jurgey]

No talk to sheep. Sheep lie!!

[colhusker]

I don't mind the bees buzzing around my head or the chicken pecking at my feet, but doesn't that damn calf have a mother?

 

[Dead Dog Alley]

A guy is out drinking with a friend and spills on his shirt.  He's afraid of his wife's response.  His friend says, don't worry, stick $10 in your pocket and say that some guy spilled on you and gave you that for dry cleaning.  He goes home and tells the story to his wife.  She asks, so why is there $20 in your pocket.  He says, that guy also crapped in my pants.