Getting an early start on my April Fools threads ...

[Norm Peterson]

Apparently, S&C just got done with testing all the players, and Michael Jacobson measured in at 6'9 1/2", so that's good, right?  Apparently, his wingspan is now a staggering 85" and his vertical has improved to 41".  More on this to follow.

 

I heard from a reliable source that uncommitted 2016 RIvals 5-star Center Marques Bolden is coming to the Spring Game for an unofficial.  ON HIS OWN DIME!!!  You know what THAT means.

 

JORDY TSHIMANGA JUST COMMITTED!!!! HE'S N!!!!!  AND THE MYSTERY CENTER FROM LOUISVILLE, TOO!!!!

 

There's evidently photographic evidence that Tom Crean attended one of Louisville's recruiting parties and got caught with a stripper.  Indiana is waiting until next Tuesday to announce they're firing him because they have to get approval from their legal department and funds have to clear the accounts from some big money boosters so they can cover the buyout.  This is totally hush-hush. Please don't post this anywhere else.

 

After the deal fell through to hire Travis Ford, St. Louis U has apparently reached out to Greg McDermott.  He's meeting the St. Louis AD at the PF Changs on the Plaza in KC tomorrow night to iron out the details.  It's practically a done deal.

 

The University of Minnesota Bd of Regents is going into special session tomorrow on a vote to extend Richard Pitino's contract through 2025.  But they're lowering the buyout from $7 million down to $1 million. This sounds like a ploy and if I'm Pitino's agent, I tell him don't go for it.

 

Mike Riley has been seen around Hendricks a lot this last week and the word is he's trying to lure Ed Morrow to play D-End.  Apparently, they think with proper caloric intake and weight training, they can get Ed up to 265# by next fall and feel with his burst and lateral quicks, he'd be a nightmare for opposing offenses.  Also, Johnny Trueblood was seen taking snaps at QB during the last couple of football practices.  Another Garth Glissman?  Just sayin.

 

Cipsucks has filed papers to open a new strip joint in the Haymarket and plans on calling it "Linkin Park."  The dancers will perform on stages shaped like Humvees.  I don't get the reference, do you?

 

That's all for now.  I'll add more as I have time to make it up.

[49r]

Oh, man, I just had lunch over at PF Chang's the other day and I gotta say their Kung Pao Chicken is actually pretty good!  I'd suggest Greg go ahead and order that.  It's nice and spicy!

[HuskerCager]

All of those are good, Norm, but none of them will ever compare with the April Fool's fiasco the A.D. compliance department pulled on us, with botched paperwork and Roburt Sallie going instead to Memphis. 

 

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/26192-nebraska-basketball-the-tale-of-roburt-sallie

[Nighthawk]

All of those are good, Norm, but none of them will ever compare with the April Fool's fiasco the A.D. compliance department pulled on us, with botched paperwork and Roburt Sallie going instead to Memphis. 

 

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/26192-nebraska-basketball-the-tale-of-roburt-sallie

 

I totally forgot about that!  I never heard what happened to him so I did a google search.  lol...interesting story: http://nba.nbcsports.com/tag/roburt-sallie/

[Norm Peterson]

I found this link very useful from the Washington Post:  https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-intersect/wp/2016/04/01/a-comprehensive-updating-and-upsetting-list-of-2016s-april-fools-day-hoaxes/

 

Apparently, Quilted Northern is coming out with a line of artisanal toilet paper made from tree bark.

 

And Ansell Condoms has started a recycling program.

 

Oh, and Google is coming out with an "Actual Reality" headset.

[huskerbaseball13]

Oh, man, I just had lunch over at PF Chang's the other day and I gotta say their Kung Pao Chicken is actually pretty good!  I'd suggest Greg go ahead and order that.  It's nice and spicy!

 

Did he give you any insight on what way Ed is leaning on his recruitment?